The Last Laugh: Overkill

article image
ILLUSTRATION: CHARLES STUBBS
Discretion is the better part of pest control.

My neighbor Ernold walked across the front porch carrying a pair of panty hose and scissors. I looked at his maiden sister Wilmyrt, sitting across from me sipping iced tea. I raised an eyebrow in question.

She shrugged and shook her head.

The way he looked carrying those shriveled little tan legs reminded me of Wendy in Peter Pan. “Hey Ern, you gonna sew someone’s shadow hack on?”

“Those better not be my new L’Eggs,” Wilmyrt warned.

Ernold hunched his shoulders and kept marching. He was in a war against pests and had no time for banter. Besides, he was used to getting grief about all his home-style remedies against cutworms and slugs and earwigs and grubs.

  • Published on Jun 1, 1999
Online Store Logo
Need Help? Call 1-800-234-3368